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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

 

My letter to Celia

Dear Grapevine,

I have become accustomed to your mewling reverence for Michael Castle, and your disdain for actually looking at his record, but your recent article "King of the Middle of the Road" has taken you to a whole new level of sycophancy.

Reading that puff piece was as unsettling as getting a glimpse into your bedroom and seeing creepy candle lit stalker alters to Castle set up in every corner. Your relentless cheerleading for Castle makes me wonder if you have notebooks full of nothing but the words "Mrs. Celia Castle" scrawled over and over, each occurance surrounded by doodles of hearts and wedding dresses.

If you do have the kind of stalker crush on Castle that your puff piece indicates I suggest that you see a qualified therapist. If not, I suggest that you check out his record of voting consistently to support the Bush Presidency prior to absent mindedly repeating the lie that he is a moderate.

Jason

Comments:
Dear Celia,

"Oh I heard it through the grapevine,
Oh and I'm just about to lose my mind.
Honey, honey yeah."

Love,

Anon

Apologies to Marvin Gaye.
 
How to win friends and influence people.
 
There comes a time when you have to just tell the truth and if it hurst peoples feelings - so be it.
 
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