If you want to throw up go read Celia Cohen's
fawning, slobber covered ode to the "Gridiron Dinner". Not only is she in her insidery glory - she actually tries to apply her meager journalistic skills to giving her gentle readers a sense of the comic hijinks. Here is a taste...Minner had this retirement stuff in perspective. She told the crowd she expected to enjoy it through nice dinners, travel to Europe and the occasional ball game -- "what the heck, I'm doing that now."
Oh, jeez. I can just hear the crickets chirping. What a debacle. But wait it gets worse. Listen to Celia get weepy and wax nostalgic WHILE leading into a hacktackular song parody by some rich guy. In the old days, the Gridiron signature was Lynda Maloney's annual variation of "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina" from "Evita." This year marked the debut of Christopher Maloney, introduced as "Son of Gridiron," singing in a voice as strong and sweet as his mother's:
Don't cry for me, Delmarva Power.
I'll just go take a cold shower.
All through the seasons
With no resistance
You make your profits
Off my subsistence.
If this is what you have to sit through to become an insider, count me out.